I'll be 52 years old this year. As every year goes by, just like I care less and less who knows that I farted, I also care less and less what others think of what I think. I used to hold both my opinions and my gas in. But I'm feeling freer and freer to let 'em rip!
This doesn't mean that I think it's okay to be mean. I don't. I don't like mean people. The people that I blast deserve it. They aren't just random individuals who got caught in the line of fire. I may go for blasting away with a little salt in my shotgun for those who just need a wake-up call or I may go full on 25 megaton blast for those who really deserve it.
Here are my 10 individuals (or collectives of douchetards) in need of a Rippin' ranging from a-salt to Nuclear Devastation.
1. Mitt Romney gets nuclear devastation for strapping his poor dog in a carrier on top of his car. Seriously, Mitt, I thought you were the best of what emerged from the Republican Clown Car this go-round, but that made me realize how stupid you really are. I think I'd rather vote for the dog.
2. Newt Gingrich gets Absolute Nuclear Devastation for being the dick that he is all around. He's a womanizer and a misogynist. What the hell woman would be fool enough to vote this douchenozzle into office?
3. John Phillips gets a 25 megaton blast of hellfire to his 'nads for screwing his own daughter. Seriously, John, fuck you--and not in that way! How could you do that to your daughter? That is so far beyond just gross--that is unfuckingbelievably nasty. I still love the music that you made and grudgingly admit that you were an incredibly gifted artist. But nonetheless, fuck you. Because now I can no longer listen to Monday Monday without thinking "and John Phillips fucked his daughter." YUCK!
4. Any douchenozzle who believes that Mackenzie Phillips was truly able to enter into a consensual sexual relationship with her father. Mackenzie was not "just as much of a pervert" as some of you judgmental idiots have said. Just because she was nineteen years old chronologically means little. She had the mindset of a child. She did not have the willpower to refuse her father--the man who taught her how to shoot up when she was just eleven years old. She came from a very dysfunctional family unit. Mackenzie Phillips is a victim of her father's perverted needs. She is not an equal participant.
5. A nuclear blast to: Any sicko who thinks that parent-child incest is ever okay. The parent-child relationship is always a power-over relationship even when the child is grown. Parent-child incest is never a truly consensual act and is not okay ever. This also applies to sickos such as the bastard who raped his own mother when she refused to give him money for drugs. This happened in Denver a number of years back and has no doubt happened in other places too. Raping your own mother? Cut his dick off. Sick bastard.
6. A nuclear blast right to the genitals of: Any moron who thinks that rape is about sex or that someone can be "so overcome with lust" that it will drive them to rape another person. Rape is about power. The rapist gets off on humiliating his/her victim, not on the sex act itself. Nobody ever deserves to be raped. It doesn't matter if they're a sex worker or how provocatively they're dressed. Rape is violence. Period.
7. On the milder side, George Takei (whom I mostly love) has earned a-salt for continuing to share fat-hating cartoons on his Facebook page. George, I love your stance against bullying of gay people. I love how you overcame the race prejudice you grew up with. I love Mr. Sulu. But I don't love how you think it's okay to rip on fat people, and neither do a lot of your fat (former) fans. George, it's obvious that you never had a problem with your weight but not all of us are so lucky. Fat people are people too. Now please, cut it out.
8. Forget the salt, I'm going full Nuclear Blast on anyone who thinks it's okay to be hateful to someone just because you don't like how they look. Don't like how fat people look? Fine--don't ask them for a date. But you have no inherent right to belittle them and make them feel badly.
9. A full-on nuclear assault for anyone who has ever pulled the old "I have a right to be an asshole to fat people because they drive up health costs, hurr hurr hurr! The "evidence" that fat people drive up health care costs is very iffy and is mostly created by the multibillion dollar diet industry. There are healthy fat people and unhealthy thin people. Size is not an indicator of health. The people who are most likely "driving up health care costs" are the elderly because they have more health problems.
10. A full arsenal of nukes to: those twats who dress up their little girls like skanks for shit TV such as Tiaras and Toddlers. I swear if I ever meet one of these bitches I will burn them to the ground, after first tearing them to pieces with my bare hands. Absolutely disgusting!Until next time, this is Wanda Psycho, ripping shit on the deserving!
2 comments:
Toddlers in Tiaras is still a train wreck I cannot look away from...But I do love me some Honey Boo Boo...I know...I get salt blasted. Be gentle!
Aw, I can't salt blast ya. You like bunnies. Besides, I watched both the Flavor of Love and the Rock of Love. Talk about brain rot!
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